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Friday, April 19, 2013

Back to the grind

You KNOW I've been bad when it's been so long since I last blogged. I've completely fallen off of the wagon and it's been SO hard to get back into things! I haven't had a shake since who knows when, I've been eating icecream, fast food, you name it...if I think it will taste good, I'm eating it. I've gained back 20 pounds. TWENTY POUNDS! Do you know how long it takes to lose twenty pounds? I do, and I'm not looking forward to having to lose it again. UGH. I'm just so incredibly frustrated with myself. Why am I having such a difficult time with this? Usually, I'm the one who doesn't understand why people are struggling. JUST DON'T EAT IT, has been my mantra. How difficult can that possibly be? I didn't understand why people said I had so much will power. It was honestly just easy for me not to eat it. Now I'm STRUGGLING...BIG TIME!

I keep telling myself, "Tomorrow...I'll start again tomorrow." Then tomorrow comes and I really want that burger, so, "Tomorrow...I'll start again tomorrow." It's a vicious cycle. My super spy texted me the other day because he hasn't seen me at the gym. It's been MONTHS since I've gone. I have zero excuses. I just need to get back there and just do it. Today, my food intake has been decent. I ran out of ice, so haven't had a shake yet, but I had a banana and a pear for breakfast, some eggs for lunch, IsaGreens and IsaFruits for a snack and I'm planning on a shake for dinner. I passed by my favorite cupcake place and almost stopped in, but I told myself, "Just don't eat it!" and kept on driving. I was proud of myself! I need to get back in the habit of drinking water. I've been completely failing at that (and so much more) lately.

So, here we go. I need to do this. I can't be the person that gains it all back. I just can't. I won't.

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