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Monday, February 11, 2013

Nights are SO hard!

Why is it that I can go all day being SO good about my eating, then at night, blow it all?!?!?!?! Great breakfast, great lunch, great dinner, great snacks...then BAM...brownies, truffles, bites of my family's dinner. I can eat ALL of my daily calories in the space of one hour. It's awful! I need to STOP this! This is how I gained so much weight in the first place! Nights were always full of snacking and yummy foods and energy drinks and ice cream and...and..and... Well, I think you get the point. I HAVE to get back out of that mindset! I'm completely sabotaging myself!

To top it off, I didn't go to the gym on Saturday or Sunday. I was fairly sick on Saturday, but still wanted to go. My husband put his foot down and told me I wasn't going. Now, I realize that sounds like my husband is crazy controlling or something, but he isn't. I didn't HAVE to listen to him, but he was fairly adamant that he wanted me resting so I could get better and it wasn't a battle worth fighting. Then, Sunday came. I was feeling quite a bit better. I told him I was off to the gym. He told me he didn't want me going because he still thought I needed a day to rest and recover. I told him I was fine and I was going. I tested the waters of, "I'm going" for several hours, but he wasn't budging. He REALLY didn't want me to go. Once again, I relented and stayed home. Then, this morning, exactly what I feared would happen, happened. I didn't want to go back. It was a chore to drag myself back to the gym. When I got there, after about 3 minutes on the stairs, I wanted to stop. I had plenty of excuses as to why I couldn't keep going. I had lost my momentum and I was miserable. It took six days to finally WANT to go to the gym and two days of not going to never want to go again! So, 9 minutes and 22 flights on the stairs, then 1.83 miles on the elliptical. (Yes, that was pathetic!) and something like 6 miles on the recumbent bike (again, not so awesome) and I tried out this new (to me, anyways) cardio machine. I was basically an elliptical, where you're taking shorter strides, on an incline. I did like five minutes of interval training on that and nearly DIED! I WILL conquer that machine! I don't really like it, though. The short strides feel awkward and I bounce too much on it. I'm sure there's a way to not bounce so much, but for now, I feel like my boobs are going to hit me in the face when I'm on it. Well, they would if they were as big as they used to be! Why is it that I lose weight in my boobs first? They were FINE, thank you very much! They do NOT need to get smaller! :( Yeah, that's just a little aside for today.  I also did some work on an ab machine that my trainer showed me on Friday. I didn't do anywhere near enough, but I figure I'd start off slow. It was probably because I didn't want to be there. Ugh!

So, I'm back from the gym, I'm determined to have a GREAT food day and, want to or not, I'm going back to the gym tomorrow!

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