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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Get with the program, woman!

I have totally been sabotaging my weight loss efforts recently. I just can't seem to get it through my head that I need to stop eating crap and start eating better! Every morning, I tell myself that I'm going to eat "clean" today. Every day, I totally fail. Today, I told myself, "This is eat! Clean eating today!" I had an IsaLean Shake for breakfast, IsaPro and Want More Energy after my workout, salmon and spinach for lunch...then two Choco Tacos. SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! I was doing SO well! What the heck?!?!?! Why am I doing this to myself? I'm SO close to losing that 100 pounds that I have as my next goal. SO CLOSE!!! I EASILY would have hit it by now if I would just stop eating crap!!! STOP IT ALREADY!!!

The Choco Tacos are gone now. (Can you believe I ate two of them at lunch with the justification of, "I need to eat both so they'll all be gone and I won't be tempted anymore.") There will be NO MORE in my freezer! I NEED to get back on track!

When I first started on my weekly phone calls, the guy in charge of the calls, Larry, told us that he had coached many people into the 100 pound club. He then warned that there had been people who came within a couple of pounds of 100 and then just stopped...stopped getting on the phone calls, stopped losing weight, stopped using Isagenix. He said he's not sure exactly why, but he thinks that it must be some sort of mental thing...that you just don't think you can lose 100 pounds, or you don't think you're worthy of losing 100 pounds, or you're just afraid of succeeding...whatever the case is, sometimes there is just some sort of mental block that doesn't want you to lose 100 lbs. I don't think that's the case with me, but I'm really struggling.

The past two days were deep cleanse days. Two days of cleansing. It's always been easy for me in the past. Last night, I ate. It was the first time I didn't complete a deep cleanse. I told myself that I was making the conscious decision to eat dinner with my family because it was the Blue and Gold dinner for my son's Cub Scout pack and I wanted to eat dinner with my family, rather than just sit there and drink water. I told myself that since I was making that choice consiously, it was okay. It wasn't worth it. Then I came home and HID and ate two Choco Tacos. (See, those things are EVIL!) Seriously, I HID and ate ice cream?!?!?! I've never HIDDEN to eat. NEVER. I hear about people doing that because they don't want people to see them eat. I thought it was ridiculous. Then, I did it. I wanted to cry. I just don't know what's going on, but I know it has to stop!

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